WIRTW #690: the “Lou-Lou-Lou-Lou-Loula” edition

On the latest episode of The Norah and Dad Show, Norah and I remember Loula, our beloved vizsla who died last week. Different people deal with grief and loss in different ways; for me, talking about her helped me deal with my grief, a lot.

You can listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, Overcast, Castro (my podcast player of choice), on the web, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Rest periods v. Meal periods

Do you know the difference between a break period and a meal period during an employee's work day? It's an important distinction because one does not count as working time, while the other does.

Federal law does not require an employer to grant employees rest or meal periods during the work day. (Some states do require them depending on the total number of hours worked; mine, however, does not.)

Federal law does, however, provide for whether meal and rest breaks are counted as "hours worked." This distinction is important. If time is counted as "hours worked," it goes into the calculation of time worked during the work week for consideration of whether the employee has crossed the 40-hour threshold for overtime pay.

The one thing your business can do right now to cut your potential FLSA liability in half

Q: What is the one thing that your business can do RIGHT NOW to cut your potential FLSA liability in half?

A: Hire an employment lawyer to conduct a wage and hour audit.

Case in point: Hendricks v. Total Quality Logistics.

After 13(!) years of litigation, a federal judge recently ruled that TQL violated the Fair Labor Standards Act and must pay unpaid overtime to thousands of misclassified employees.

The judge also ruled that TQL must pay statutory liquidated damages under the FLSA in an amount to the unpaid overtime because TQL did not establish that it acted in good faith in (mis)classifying its employees.

How bad do wage and violations have to be for a federal judge to order you to sell your business? This bad.

A federal district court judge has ordered the owners and operators of 14 Subway restaurants to pay employees nearly $1 million in back wages and damages and further ordered them to sell or shut down their businesses within 60 days.

The wage and hour violations included:

Loula.

Thursday night, we made the very difficult decision to let our beloved family member, Loula Mae, go.

It was one of the hardest decisions we've ever had to make as a family.

She had too many not good things happening inside of her. After two days of testing the vet had no idea why her red blood cell levels kept dropping and not regenerating. There were also suspected cancer cell from a substantial mass that had suddenly formed under her armpit, which had quickly spread across her chest and down to her belly. The preliminary diagnosis was either cancer bleeding to her body causing the anemia, or the cancer triggering an autoimmune amenia.

Either way, all of the potentials were various degrees of awful. Thus, we made the painful decision to let her go instead of putting her through months of suffering with an uncertain outcome and only a small chance of her having any quality of life in the future.

WIRTW #689: the “134” edition

134. That's how many different available positions Costco offered to Monica Barnett over a nearly nine-month period in an effort to accommodate her knee and wrist injuries.

0. That's how many of the offered positions Monica Barnett applied for or requested placement.

1. That's the number of paragraphs it took the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals to affirm the dismissal of Barnett's failure to reasonably accommodate claim. In the Court's words:

Barnett claims Costco refused to engage in good faith, "forced" her to remain on medical leave, and required her to be "100% healed" before returning to work. These assertions are unsupported by the record. The undisputed record demonstrates that Costco held three job assessment meetings, sent Barnett 134 available positions over more than eight months, and placed Barnett in an optical-assistant position that accommodated her limitations.

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try as an employer to do right by an employee, the employee is going to sue. In those cases, all you hope is that you have your i's dotted and t's crossed, all of your contemporaneously made documentation is in order, and a judge or jury will see the case for what it is and find in your favor.

Employees shouldn’t have to choose between their religion and their job

Is there any legitimate reason a concierge must be clean shaven as a condition of employment? That question is at the center of a new lawsuit the EEOC filed against Blackwell Security Services.

The EEOC alleges that a Blackwell supervisor told a Muslim hiree that it was company policy that all employees be clean shaven. When the employee requested an exemption from the policy to accommodate his religious practice, Blackwell told him to shave his beard or be terminated. To avoid losing his job, the employee complied and shaved his beard. The EEOC charge and its lawsuit followed.

The two main reasons why employers shouldn’t retaliate

Social media giant TikTok is in some legal hot water for its alleged mistreatment of its employees. According to NPR, two Black employees allege that TikTok fired them after they complained to HR about racial discrimination within the company.

WIRTW #688: the “(not) Progressives” edition

Misgendering a transgender employee + forcing him to out himself to his coworkers + passing him over for a promotion + subjecting him to an unwanted office transfer + scrutinizing his medical appointments and other time off + ignoring his three HR complaints = a jury trial for Progressive Insurance on claims of sexual harassment, discrimination, and retaliation.

According to the plaintiff, the first four years of his employment at Progressive were without incident, until he informed his supervisor of his intent to transition from female to male. That's when he alleges the mistreatment began, and continued for the final four years of his employment until he quit.

Transgender people are under attack. This lawsuit is a symptom of a much larger problem in workplaces across our country. Trans employees often experience discrimination, harassment, and a lack of understanding, including from their work colleagues and bosses. As an employer, it is important to create a safe and inclusive environment for all employees, including those who identify as transgender or gender nonconforming. Otherwise, you just might find yourself at a receiving end of a well-deserved and difficult-to-defend lawsuit. Just ask Progressive Insurance.

The case is John Doe v. Progressive Ins., and you can find the court's summary judgment opinion here.

Facebook Messenger and other alternative communication channels for attendance call-outs

An employee uses Facebook Messenger to notify his supervisor of a medical absence, ignoring the company's policy that requires employees to use a specific call-in line to notify their supervisor of a tardy or absence at least 30 minutes before their shift begins.

Are these absences FMLA-protected excused absences, or unexcused absences subject to termination?

In 2019, Kasey Roberts took six weeks of leave to undergo and recover from an emergency appendectomy, after notifying his supervisor via Facebook Messenger. A few days after returning, Roberts was hospitalized for a post-surgical infection. He again sent his supervisor several Facebook messages notifying of his absences.

After Roberts missed three more weeks of work, his employer fired him for job abandonment, claiming that all of his absences were unexcused since the call-in line, and not Facebook Messenger, was its "usual and customary" system for medical leave notice.

Let’s play FLSA error-spotting

Empire Diner pays its servers a tipped minimum wage of $2.83, the permissible tipped minimum wage in the state in which it's located, Pennsylvania. According to the company's payroll records, each employee earns more than the statutory minimum wage, $7.25 per hour.

So far, so good under the Fair Labor Standards Act. So where did Empire Diner make its FLSA mistakes, according to the 3rd Circuit?

The 10th nominee for the “Worst Employer of 2023” is … the jack(a$$) in the box

The EEOC recently filed a lawsuit against a Jack in the Box restaurant owned and operated by Eastbox LLC, alleging sexual harassment against teen and young adult female employees. 

The allegations are horrific. 

WIRTW #687: the “red rain” edition

What was your worst day at work? 

If you work at Destilaria Levira, in Levira, Portugal, it was almost certainly this past weekend, when two wine storage vats exploded, flooding the town with 2.2m liters of "good quality" red wine. 

But a company is not defined by its disasters, it's defined by how it handles them after the fact. And this business handled his disaster very, very well.

"Dear Neighbors," its Facebook post began. 

We deeply regret the incident that occurred this morning involving the bursting of 2 suitable-to-consumption DOC wine storage units stemming from the extraordinary government support measure to producers and wineries of the Distillation Crisis 2023 motivated by the excess of wine in the country. 

Although the incident did not cause any injuries, we want to express our sincere concern for the damage caused in general in Levira and in particular to his home.  

 

The causes of the incident are being investigated by the competent authorities. 

We take full responsibility for the costs associated with damage cleanup and repair, with crews available to do it immediately. We're committed to resolving this situation as soon as possible.

Please keep photographic records of damages and damages and contact us to discuss the details and coordinate the necessary procedures. We are available at any time to help you resolve this issue.

Once again we apologize for the inconvenience caused and we're committed to doing whatever is necessary to remedy the situation.

Thank you very much and once again, we are very sorry.

Repeat after me: Never, ever, ever ignore court orders

Have you ever heard of a "writ of body attachment?" Me neither, until yesterday. That's when the 7th Circuit Court of Appeals issued one against Timothy and Carley Dillett, two corporate officials of Haven Salon + Spa, and ordered federal marshals to take them into custody.

What did the Dilletts do to earn the ire of a federal appeals court and wind up in custody?

They repeatedly and willfully ignored the NLRB's and the Court's orders.

If you bet on which of your employees will get Covid, you probably shouldn’t qualify for a bonus

In late 2020, Tyson Foods fired seven of its pork processing plant managers after they were caught betting on which of their employees would next get sick with Covid. At that time, more than 1,000 Tyson employees had fallen ill, and six had died. In announcing the firings, the company's President and CEO said, "The behaviors exhibited by these individuals do not represent the Tyson core values, which is why we took immediate and appropriate action to get to the truth. Now that the investigation has concluded, we are taking action based on the findings."

Not content with leaving well enough alone, five of the seven fired managers sued Tyson Foods claiming that the company owed them a bonus payment pursuant to the company's Annual Incentive Plan. 

The 9th nominee for the “Worst Employer of 2023” is … the cake boss

Telling an employee to "Eat a Dick" won't earn you a nomination for the Worst Employer of 2023. 

Writing "Eat a Dick" on the inside lid of a box holding a penis-shaped cake you have delivered to an employee won't even earn you a nomination for the Worst Employer of 2023. 

But doing so when you're the company's HR manager? That will earn you a well-deserved nomination to this year's list.

WIRTW #686: the “non-union label” edition

(With a huge tip of the hat to my friend Mike VanDervort for the idea), and inspired by the impending union election at Creature Comforts, I asked Bard, Google's AI assistant, the following question: "What are some good names for a union-free craft beer?"

Bard's suggestions:

• Free Range Ale
• Independent IPA
• Maverick Pale Ale
• Unshackled Wheat 
• Renegade Stout
• Free Spirit Saison
• Unbowed Brown Ale
• Unbound Amber Ale
• Defiant Pilsner
• Untamed IPA
• Wild Card Porter

But it is its rationale for choosing those names that is the most enlightening. 

These names all convey the idea of being free from union control, while also being creative and catchy. They would be a good fit for a craft beer that is brewed by a small, independent brewery that values its employees and gives them a fair wage.

There's a whole lot of wisdom in the statement that valuing your employees and paying them a fair wage is what a business needs to do to stay union free. So, crack open an Unshackled Wheat or an Independent IPA and toast those businesses that treat their employees like people, and not like replaceable widgets whose only goal is to make the company profits; they will be the employers that will remain union free, even as the NLRB is doing everything within (and without) its power to unionize as many businesses as possible.

---

Can you hear me now?! Jury awards deaf truck driver $36M in disability discrimination lawsuit

$36 million is a number large enough to get anyone's attention. It certainly got the attention of Drivers Management, LLC and Werner Enterprises, Inc., after a federal jury awarded the EEOC that amount in a disability discrimination lawsuit it filed on behalf of Victor Robinson, a deaf truck driver, denied employment because of his disability.

OSHA wants to let union reps into your non-union facility

If OSHA gets its way, you might have to start opening the doors of your business to union reps during the agency's safety inspections.

Pursuant to a new rule proposed by OSHA, in the event of an OSHA inspection an employee can designate another employee or a non-employee third-party to accompany the OSHA agent during the physical workplace inspection.

WIRTW #685: the “good bosses” edition

I write about a lot of horrible, terrible bosses … the worst employers. 

Today, however, I want to use this space to shine a light on five really, really great bosses … specifically late-night hosts Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Meyers, and John Oliver. This week, they launched a new podcast — Strike Force Five — to raise money for their employees that have been out of work since the WGA went on strike 122 days ago. 

The hosts are donating all proceeds they receive from the podcast to the out-of-work staff from their respective shows.

Do them a favor and show your support and appreciation by finding Strike Force Five in your podcast app of choice and subscribing. 

---

DOL announced proposed rule to increase salary threshold for white-collar exempt employees

$1,059 per week. If the Department of Labor gets its wish, that amount will become the new salary threshold for its various white-collar overtime exemptions. Yesterday, the DOL published a notice of proposed rulemaking seeking to increase the FLSA's salary test from the current threshold of $684 per week ($35,568 annually) to $1,059 per week ($55,068 annually).

You will read a lot over the next couple of months that the DOL increasing its white-collar salary threshold by nearly 55% is a huge deal. I'm here to tell you that it really isn't.

NLRB opens the tap for a union election at Creature Comforts Brewing Company … but will it matter?

It took more than seven months, but the NLRB has finally directed a union representation election at Creature Comforts Brewing Company. The NLRB will soon hold a secret ballot election over whether employees wish to be represented for purposes of collective bargaining by the Brewing Union of Georgia. 

The bigger issue for Creature Comforts, however, is that even if it wins the election, the union will almost certainly use its four pending unfair labor practice charges against the employer to seek a bargaining order under the Board's recent Cemex decision (which the Board will apply retroactively).

EEOC busts a quartet of hospitality employers for pervasive sexual harassment

In a press release, the EEOC announced the filing of a series of sexual harassment lawsuits against Las Vegas hospitality employers. 

[The l]awsuits … allege sexual harassment towards employees by owners, supervisors and management, co-workers, and/or customers. The four lawsuits included allegations raised by workers throughout the hospitality industry, from housekeepers in hotels to waitstaff in both high-end and casual restaurants and bars. Allegations included the attempted rape of a young housekeeper, sexual assault, sexual solicitations, sexual comments, inappropriate touching, stalking, and other inappropriate behaviors. 

These lawsuits are consistent with agency's enforcement priorities as outlined in its just-released Strategic Plan, which includes targeting education and enforcement effots to protect vulnerable communities.

BREAKING NEWS: NLRB issues in the era of card-check union recognition and bargaining order remedies

In Cemex Construction Materials Pacific, the NLRB significantly altered the process for how a labor union becomes certified as the exclusive bargaining representative of a group of employees.
Cemex eliminates (1) secret-ballot representation elections upon the presentation of signed authorization cards; and (2) re-run elections in the face of election-campaign unfair labor practices.

In their place, Cemex: (1) requires an employer to recognize and bargain with a union upon its presentation of a majority of signed authorization cards unless the employer promptly (within two weeks absent unforeseen circumstances) files an RM petition seeking an election; and (2) authorizes the Board to issue a bargaining order instead of directing a second, re-run election if an employer seeking an RM election commits any unfair labor practice prior to election that would require the Board to set the election aside.

WIRTW #684: the “chocolate city” edition

This is Dante, our four-year-old vizsla. Last week, he thought it was a good idea to eat some cocoa powder. As a result, he spent an overnight in the emergency vet hospital; he seems no worse for wear.

Chocolate is toxic to dogs because it contains both theobromine and caffeine, which dogs cannot metabolize and which causes significant and dangerous digestive, neurologic, and cardiac effects. In fact, cocoa powder contains the highest concentration of these chemicals and is the most toxic to dogs. According to vet, the Dante likely ate 2.5 times the lethal limit.

In other words, it's a really good thing we took him in.

He did suffer a cardiac episode while admitted. The vet told us Dante had tachycardia (an abnormally increased heart rate), which they controlled via medicine. He's had no other issues since we brought him home.

We all learned a lesson. Dante (hopefully) learned not to eat cocoa powder. We learned that when you're cleaning out your cabinets as water pours out of your kitchen ceiling from a burst pipe, take the time to make sure the dangerous stuff remains out of reach.

This is me, exhaling a huge sigh of relief. 😮‍💨 😌

Here's what I read and heard this past week that you should read and hear, too.

Determining the exempt status of a dual-purpose employee

Tony works at a local brewery as its assistant general manager. In that capacity, he interviews, hires, trains, coaches, disciplines, and fires lower-level employees; recommends employees for promotions; meets with lower-level managers to ensure they are meeting expectations; and reviews sales, hours, labor, and overtime reports. To meet the operational needs, however, Tony also picks up regular shifts in the taproom performing hourly, nonexempt work such as waiting tables and bartending. Despite his $75,000 annual salary, Tony estimates that he only spends approximately 20% of his working time performing his managerial duties, while he spends the balance of his time on non-exempt tasks.

Is Tony FLSA exempt or FLSA non-exempt?

This is why I hate timeclock rounding policies

The rounding of an employee's clock-ins and clock-out to the nearest of a specific increment of time is perfectly legal. It's also a perfectly terrible idea.

Let me explain.

5th Circuit rejects the “ultimate employment decision” test for workplace discrimination claims

"Female employees are not given full weekends off and can only receive weekdays or partial weekends off."

Is this policy legal or illegal? 

Getting your termination ducks in a row

Just because someone engages in protected conduct doesn't mean you can't fire them. It just means you better have your ducks in a row when you do so.

Case in point: the saga of Nicole Oeuvray and the Art Directors Guild. Oeuvray, who served as the guild's accountant for 16 years, had been one of leaders of a campaign to organize the guild's employees into a labor union.

WIRTW #683: the “here comes the flood” edition

Lord, here comes the flood

We'll say goodbye to flesh and blood

If again the seas are silent in any still alive

It'll be those who gave their island to survive

– Peter Gabriel, "Here Comes the Flood"

That songs has been playing on a loop in my head for the past few days. That's how long it's been since my house flooded. A supply line to our master shower burst, causing my kitchen ceiling to resemble the Bellagio Fountains (but upside-down). 

T he here of our story is my 15-year-old son, Donovan, who was home with no adults. The rest of us were driving home from our daughter's doctor appointment. D-man FaceTimed me to show me the rushing waters. I pulled over into the nearest parking lot and, also via FaceTime, walked him through how to shut off the water from the main.

Without D-man's quick thinking the flood would have been a lot worse. As it stands, we will need a whole new kitchen, along with new carpet both upstairs and in our basement, some new bathroom cabinets, and I'm sure lots of other stuff.

Needless to say, it's been a week.

Here's what I read this week that you should read, too.

There is no such thing as free speech at work

"Having successfully settled my case with ESPN/Disney, I have decided to leave so I can exercise my first amendment rights more freely."

-vs-

"ESPN and Sage Steele have mutually agreed to part ways. We thank her for her many contributions over the years."

Those are two vastly different statements published by (now former) ESPN anchor Sage Steele and her former employer.

ESPN's statement is standard vanilla for a company announcing someone's departure.

Sage Steele's statement, however, is borderline dangerous because it continues to foster a myth that private sector employees enjoy First Amendment rights at work.

Steele's lawsuit against ESPN followed her removal from the air two years ago after a series of controversial public comments about vaccine mandates ("to mandate … is … sick … and … scary"); female sports reporters and sexual harassment (women need to "be responsible" and it "isn't just on players and athletes and coaches to act a certain way"); and former President Barack Obama's racial identity ("I think that's fascinating considering his Black dad was nowhere to be found, but his White mom and grandma raised him").

Let me say this one more time, loudly, for the people in the back:

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS FREE SPEECH AT WORK.

The First Amendment to which Sage Steele refers prohibits the government from restricting speech, not private employers — "Congress shall make no law … abridging the freedom of speech…."

Yes, there are some limited exceptions to the lack of workplace free speech rights — government workers; complaints about discrimination; protected concerted activity under the National Labor Relations Act; and the few states that grant speech rights to all employees.

But otherwise, no one should operate under the mistaken impression that they can flap their gums about whatever they want without workplace consequences. People like Sage Steele who continue to perpetrate the fallacy of workplace free speech are doing everyone (including themselves) a grave disservice.

Despite what SCOTUS said about collegiate affirmative action, corporate DEI efforts are still legal

Last week, a federal court judge dismissed a lawsuit filed by a conservative shareholder against Starbucks challenging the company's diversity, equity, and inclusion policies. He called the lawsuit "frivolous."

In 2020, Starbucks decided that it needed a greater representation of BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Color) employees. As a result, it announced a policy that aimed to increase company-wide BIPOC representation to at least 30% in five years. Its efforts included implementing a leadership accelerator program for BIPOC employees, linking executive compensation to meeting DEI goals, and granting funds to community nonprofits.

National Center for Public Policy Research, which owns around $6,000 in Starbucks stock, sued, claiming those policies require the company to make race-based decisions in violation of state and federal civil rights laws. Explaining the lawsuit, the NCPPR said that setting "goals for the number of 'diverse'—meaning not-white—employees it hires … is outright racial discrimination."

Not all reasonable accommodation standards are created equally

Consider this example, and then let's talk.

Lydia works as a cellar person in a brewery. The essential functions of her job include the ability to lift up to 40 lbs. and to move kegs that weigh as much as 160 lbs. She delivers a note from her doctor that says, "No lifting or moving more than 10 pounds."

What are this employer's obligations to offer her a reasonable accommodation for her lifting and moving restrictions? It depends on the medical reason.

Pregnant Workers Fairness Act and pregnancy loss

Missy, a newly hired server in the taproom of a brewery, suffers a miscarriage and asks her manager for ten days of leave to recover. As a new employee, Missy has not yet accrued any paid leave. The employer is too small to be covered by the FMLA and does not have a policy providing any unpaid leave.

Must the brewery grant Missy her requested ten days of post-miscarriage leave?

Historically, the answer could have been no.

WIRTW #682: the “horse hockey” edition

Lou Grant. Leslie Knope. Dr. Mark Greene. Captain Merrill Stubing. Even Michael Scott. The history of television is littered with great bosses. Earlier this week my friend Suzanne Lucas asked her vast LinkedIn network to name their choice for the “best” tv boss. Her choices were District Attorney Adam Schiff and Lieutenant Anita Van Buren, from Law & Order.

My choice: Colonel Sherman T. Potter, who adroitly and compassionately led M*A*S*H's 4077 for the series' final 8 seasons.

What made Col. Potter the best boss?

First and foremost, he always had his team's back, no matter what. He took ownership of his group and shouldered the blame whenever something went wrong. As the 4077's leader, the buck stopped with him, period. Which is not to say that his unit didn't have accountability. To the contrary, he always held his people accountable inside his unit, even as he defended them to everyone outside. When his people screwed up (as they often did), he made sure they understood and that it never happened again.

Col. Potter also embodied much of the best qualities of a good boss. His integrity was unmatched and unquestioned. He always encouraged everyone in his command to be the best versions of themselves and led by example. He knew when to use humor to lighten a situation and when to put the screws to him team. And, most importantly, he never forgot that his doctors, nurses, and other charges weren't soldiers by trade but were stuck in the middle of war zone. It's his empathy and compassion that stands out the most from all of his other admirable qualities.

And that's why Sherman Potter is the correct answer as the best tv boss of all time.

Who is your choice? Share in the comments below.

---

Here's what I read this week that you should read, too.

$2.6 million reasons why it’s illegal to fire a gay employee

Yesterday, a federal jury in Columbus returned a $2.6 million verdict in favor of Stacey Yerkes, a former Ohio State Highway Patrol employee who claimed that she was constructively discharged (forced to quit based on intolerable and unreasonable working conditions) because of her sexual orientation.

Despite what he says, Elon Musk will not pay your legal bills if you’re fired for Xing

"If you were unfairly treated by your employer due to posting or liking something on this platform, we will fund your legal bill. No limit. Please let us know."

Elon Musk tweeted (xed?) that note Saturday night to his 152 million followers on his platform. Thus far it’s been liked close to 850,000 times, quoted or retweeted more than 165,000 times, and viewed nearly 130 million times.

And it's complete and total rubbish.

Work and religion aren’t a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup

Everyone's relationship with God — whether you call that deity God, Yahweh, Jesus, Allah, Vishnu, Buddha, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, something else, or nothing at all — is personal. I have no opinion on your spiritual relationship, as should you have none on mine. Thus, I get mad whenever someone tries to shove their religious beliefs down my throat. Not only do I not care, but I can guarantee that you will not change my mind. Proselytism is one small step removed from fanaticism, and rarely, if ever, has anything good come from religious fanaticism.

I share the above as prologue to today's discussion, which focuses on a Title VII lawsuit the EEOC recently settled with Aurora Pro Services, a North Carolina residential home service and repair company, alleged to have required employees to participate in religious prayer sessions as a condition of employment. 

WIRTW #681: the “excel-lent” edition

To be the man (or woman), you've gotta beat the man (or woman).

And to beat the man (or woman), you've gotta be really, really good at pivot tables and the xlookup function.

Earlier this morning, ESPN2 aired the Microsoft Excel World Championship.

You read that correctly — the world championship of spreadsheeting.

How in the world does one convert Microsoft Excel into a competitive sport? The answer is by tasking competitors to use Excel to solve complex puzzles. The eight contestants are provided "cases" to solve. Past examples include computing all of the possible outcomes and rewards for a slot machine or all of the possible combinations of license plate numbers. Contestants are then provided 30 minutes to answer a series of questions related to each case worth up to 1,000 points; the most points wins.

It's fascinating and compelling to watch, and I made sure to tune in before I left for work this morning. No spoilers on who won. I know you can find a replay and I want you to discover the joy of this event all on your own.

So here's my fun Friday question for everyone — If given the opportunity, what aspect of your job would you turn into a competitive sport? Mine would probably have something to do with Lexis searches … or maybe a race to make a filing deadline?

No wrong answers. Please share in the comments below.

Here's what I read this past week that you should read, too.

NLRB resets the rules on employee handbooks … yet again

Yes, we need to talk about employee handbooks and the NLRB … again. 

Yesterday, the Board decided Stericycle, Inc., and announced its 5th (at least) new and different standard in the past 25 years as to when a workplace policy (such as those in employee handbooks) violate employees' rights to engage in protected concerted activity under the National Labor Relations Act to talk between and among themselves about their terms and conditions of employment.

It's enough to give an HR practitioner or employment lawyer legal whiplash, and I'm not going to go through the history of all of these various disparate standards. If you want full history, you can read the Stericycle opinion or search the blog's archives.

What you really want, and need, is a summary of the new standard moving forward (and, as you'll soon discover, backward). Here it is.

The No Robot Bosses Act

"I, for one, welcome our robot overlords." 🙃

Consider this scenario. "You're a delivery driver and your employer's tracking algorithm determines you’re not performing up to its standards — and then sends you an email to let you know you've been fired without any warning or opportunity to speak to a human being." According to Senator Bob Casey, it is this example, along with others, that caused him to draft the the "No Robot Bosses Act."

If enacted, it would add protections for job applicants and employees related to automated decision systems and would require employers to disclose when and how these systems are being used.

Managing an overly sensitive employee

Floyd Sesson, a Black UPS parts mechanic, saw race discrimination in every turn within his workplace.

When UPS changed its policy to prohibit overtime for all parts mechanics, Sesson claimed that the policy unlawfully targeted him because of his race.

When Sesson complained to management about the overtime cuts, he claimed he further lost overtime in retaliation for his complaints.

When supervisors tried to manage Sesson, he claimed they were harassing him because of his race.

The 6th Circuit had little difficulty in affirming the dismissal of Sesson's discrimination, retaliation, and harassment lawsuit.

The time has come to legislate gluten-free food

"I'm gluten free…"

That's how my 15-year-old starts his order at every restaurant. He has Celiac disease and gets very ill anytime he eats gluten.

For the uninformed, Celiac disease is a genetic autoimmune condition that affects the gastrointestinal tract when gluten — a protein found in wheat, barley, and rye — is ingested. When someone with Celiac disease eats gluten, the lining of the small intestine is damaged. In Donovan's case he gets serious gastrointestinal symptoms, sometimes for days.

Thus, Donovan is very particular in what he eats and how he orders, as was the case last week at the Fargo Bar & Grill, a dinnertime stop we made while visiting family on the Finger Lakes last weekend.

WIRTW #680: the “walk up song” edition

Above the Law thinks that it's time for lawyers to have walk-up songs. 

History says that the walk-up song started at Old Comiskey Park in 1970, with the White Sox organist playing each player's home state song as they walked up to the plate. Over time, the tradition expanded to other ballparks and different music. 

What's the most famous walk-up song of all time? I'd argue Ricky "Wild Thing" Vaughn's "Wild Thing" (from the movie "Major League"). In real life? Mariano Rivera's "Enter Sandman"? Chase Utley's "Kashmir"? Trevor Hoffman's "Hells Bells"?

Which brings me back to the question posed by Above the Law: What would our lives be like if our own theme songs accompanied us while we work? 

It's a great question. I think mine would be "Career Opportunities" by The Clash. Driving guitar + a workplace theme = gold for this employment lawyer.

How about you? What walk-up song would you choose for your job?

Here's what I read this week that you should read, too.

6th Circuit opinion guts the validity of e-signatures on employment documents

"I never saw that agreement and I never signed it." That's all that Andrew Bazemore said under oath in defense of Papa John's claim that he was required to arbitrate his FLSA claim relating to an under-reimbursement of vehicle expenses.

The 6th Circuit held that Bazemore's otherwise unsupported declaration was enough to create an issue of fact as to the arbitrability of his claim. 

X marks the spot

There's nothing inherently illegal about naming one of your conference rooms "s3xy." If, however, your company has a history of allegations of sexual harassment and other sex discrimination, it's not the wisest choice.

"s3Xy" is among the names X (née Twitter) chose to rebrand the conference rooms inside its corporate offices. X's sister companies, SpaceX and Tesla, have a long history of defending sexual harassment lawsuits (and allegedly retaliating against the victims). All of these companies have one thing in common — Elon Musk.

WIRTW #679: the “Portugal. The Podcast” edition

It's been a hot minute since my daughter and I recorded an episode of our podcast, The Norah and Dad Show. It only took a Portuguese holiday to get us off our duffs to record. It was a trip more than three years in the making (thanks to Covid), and we made the most of it — 12 days spread across Porto, Peniche, and Lisbon. On the episode we share our favorites from each of our three stops, some restaurant recommendations, cool sights and sounds (peacocks!), and our overall impressions of an amazing country.

You'll find it wherever you get you podcasts, including Apple, Spotify, Google, Amazon, and on the web.

When you finished listening to The Norah and Dad Show, I have two additional podcasts I recorded this week that you should also check out: The World at Work Workspan Podcast (discussing the significance of SCOTUS's end-of-term flurry of opinions) and DriveThru HR''s Labor Relatedly (discussing the ongoing Hollywood labor strikes and what they mean for all employers).

Here's what I read this week that you should, too.

Never send an accused harasser on a business trip with his alleged victim

"If he wants to sleep with someone, you have to say yes. It's normal that the coach sleeps with the players in our team."

That's what an anonymous player told The Guardian about Bruce Mwape, head coach of the Zambia women's national team.

Are we really still talking about masks?

In-N-Out burgers are mid. Its employment practices are even worse.  

The restaurant chain is prohibiting employees in five states from wearing masks unless they receive a medical note from a doctor. 

The new rules apply to employees in five red or purple states — Arizona, Colorado, Nevada, Texas and Utah. Meanwhile, employees in two blue states — Oregon and California — may still opt to wear a mask as long as it's a company-approved N95. 

According to a company-wide memo, these new rule are designed to "emphasize the importance of customer service and the ability to show our Associates' smiles and other facial features." 

The 8th nominee for the “Worst Employer of 2023” is … the head hunter

If you work for the Anatomical Gift Association of Illinois (a non-profit organization dedicated to the procurement, preparation, and preservation of donations for medical and scientific study), body parts are an unfortunate occupational hazard. If, however, you lodge complaints with your supervisors about the "mishandling and poor conditions" of donated bodies, and then find three dismembered heads waiting for you at your desk … that occupational hazard becomes retaliation.