Court finds that the ADA does not protect employee’s dormant genetic condition

Sherryl Darby has the BRCA1 gene, otherwise known as the breast cancer gene, the best known gene associated with breast-cancer risk. Approximately two months after she started working as an administrative assistant at Childvine, an early childcare provider, Darby opted to have a double mastectomy to decrease her risk of developing breast cancer in the future. Two weeks later, Childvine fired her.

Despite the close-in-time link between Darby’s surgery and her termination, the district court dismissed her ADA lawsuit.

WIRTW #580 (the “I voted” edition)

Have you cast your ballot for the Worst Employer of 2019? Time is running short. The polls close Tuesday, December 17, at 11 pm.

VOTE here

Once you’ve voted, please download your official Ohio Employer Law Blog “I voted for the Worst Employer of 2019” badge and share on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc. Please tag your post with #worstemployer2019 so that I can more easily find it and feel the love.

And don’t forget to return on December 18 when I’ll announce this year’s big winner (or loser, depending on how you look at it).

Here’s what I read this week.

Just because you’re out on FMLA does not grant you a license to threaten your co-workers

“Hey pussy … I’m going to get you for what you did.”

Ordinarily, if one employee confronts another employee with a threat like the one above, you’d consider it grounds for termination. Maurice Darby, however, claimed that the fact that he made the threat while out on FMLA leave constituted grounds for retaliation after his employer terminated him.

The 4 things you cannot do to pro-union employees (hint: number 1 is fire them)

Four former Google employees claim that their ex-employer fired them Thanksgiving week in retaliation for their efforts to organize a labor union. According to CNBC, the NLRB is now investigating the firings. For its part, Google denies that anti-union animus played any roll in the firings.

We dismissed four individuals who were engaged in intentional and often repeated violations of our longstanding data security policies, including systematically accessing and disseminating other employees’ materials and work. No one has been dismissed for raising concerns or debating the company’s activities.

VOTE NOW for the “Worst Employer of 2019” — polls are open

All year long, I’ve been sharing examples of the worst employers in America. My goal? Compile them at the end of the year and then turn it over to you, my readers, to pick the worst of the worst.

Today is your opportunity to help pick the Worst Employer of 2019.

I’ve narrowed this year’s preliminary list down to my choice for the top 10 naughty employers.

Voting will take from today until December 17, at 11 pm. You will be able to vote for up to 3 choices.

I will then tally the votes, and, announce the highest recipient as the very worthy winner of the Worst Employer of 2019.

Vote, share this post with your friends, colleagues, and social networks, and, most importantly, learn something from the mistakes of these 10 very worthy, and cringy, nominees.

The ADA never requires an employer to create a position as a reasonable accommodation

Randona Johnson took a medical leave from his position as a process coach at a Ford assembly plant to deal with back pain, hypertension, and depression. After five months of leave, Ford moved Johnson to inactive status, with no active position at the plant. Two months later, Johnson reapplied for his old job and requested certain accommodations for his various disabilities. According to Ford, however, the assembly plant had no openings at that time, as was the case each time over the next several months Johnson reapplied. Ultimately, 15 months after Johnson first took medical leave, and eight months after he first re-applied, a position opened and Ford rehired him with his requested accommodations.

Johnson sued anyway, claiming in failing to rehire him earlier Ford unlawfully denied him a reasonable accommodation.

WIRTW #579 (the “blank slate” edition)

Next Saturday, December 14, Norah and her Fake ID bandmates will be traveling west to Elyria, Ohio, to play Blank Slate, a very cool all ages, all inclusive, and substance free club. Tickets are only $5 if you buy them in advance (here) or $7 at the door.

Here’s what I read this week.

Discrimination

• Sex and the CEO — via Jonathan HR Law
• Stuffing Discrimination Complaints Into Thanksgiving? Feast on these Cases — via Dan Schwartz’s Connecticut Employment Law Blog
• There’s retaliation, and then there’s locking the complainant in a walk-in freezer. (Allegedly) — via Eric Meyer’s Employer Handbook Blog
• Ohio Fairness Act Takes Important First Step in Ohio House Committee — via Ohio Chamber Blog
• LGBTQ Rights in Employment: Does it Boil Down to the “Bathroom Use” Question Again? — via BeLabor The Point

HR & Employee Relations

• Can Music Increase Your Workplace Productivity? — via HR Gazette
• It’s Perfectly Legal to be an Asshole. — via HR Examiner with John Sumser
• How harmful thought patterns about workplace bullying and mobbing may accelerate the aging process — via Minding the Workplace
• Going Back to Work After a Pregnancy Loss — via Harvard Business Review
• How do I talk to my coworker about her body odor? — via Ask a Manager

Technology

• Facebook built a facial recognition app that identified employees — via Engadget HD
• Shaping Better Workplaces Through Social Media Screening — via Workology
• Cybersecurity in the Age of AI and Why Cybersecurity Isn’t Only a Tech Problem — via Harvard Business Review 
• An Alarming Number of Software Teams Are Missing Cybersecurity Expertise — via Dark Reading
• Seeking Insurance for Cybersecurity-Related Losses — via The D & O Diary

Wage & Hour

• Big Media Finds out that Salary Secrecy is Dead. Spreadsheets Share Everything — via Evil HR Lady, Suzanne Lucas
• Compliance with FLSA Overtime Rule Changes 2020 — via Staffing Industry Analysts
• 11th Cir.: Arbitration Clause Requiring Fee/Cost Splitting Violates the FLSA — via Overtime Law Blog

Labor

• Fired Google Employees Vow Federal Labor Complaint — via Forbes
• The NLRB Rules that Unpaid Interns Are Not Employees Under the Act — via Hunton Employment & Labor Law Perspectives™
• NLRB’s LA Specialty Produce Decision Provides More Clarity on Employee Handbook Rule Standards — via Employment Law Worldview
• Buttigieg campaign staffers join union — via CUE, Inc.

OSHA & Safety

• Workers sue McDonald’s over workplace violence — via HR Dive
• McDonalds to Train Store Employees on Mitigating & Identifying Violence — via Blogging4Jobs
• Attorney Mental Health: ‘Thanksgiving’ Isn’t Just a Holiday — via Law.com - In-House Counsel
• Erasing the Workplace Stigma of Behavioral Health Conditions — via EntertainHR
• Fifth Circuit Provides New Grounds for Employers to Pursue Late Notices of Contest to OSHA Citations — via Workplace Safety and Environmental Law Alert Blog
• How to Take Advantage of OSHA’s ‘Employee Misconduct’ Defense — via HR Hero Line
• OSHA Signals Its Regulatory Priorities in Fall Agenda — via OSHA Law Blog
• No Medical Marijuana in Ohio BWC’s Drug-Free Workplace — via Labor & Employment Law Navigator

Does it violate the ADA to work an employee in excess of a work restriction?

Rita Morrissey is a licensed practical nurse who worked for 15 years for The Laurels of Coldwater, a skilled nursing and rehabilitation center. In 2012, she injured her back outside of work, and submitted a note to her employer from her primary care physician limiting her to no more than 12 hours of work per shift. Coldwater refused the accommodation, telling Morrissey that it would not accommodate any medical condition that did not stem from a work-related injury.

Do you know how to calculate the “regular rate of pay” for your employees? (hint: probably not)

The Fair Labor Standards Act requires that employers pay their non-exempt employees one and one-half times the “regular rate of pay” for any hours worked in excess of 40 in any work week. For an employee paid a straight hourly rate, this calculation is simple and straight forward. A $10 per hour employee earns an overtime rate of $15 per overtime hour. Easy peasy.

Often times, however, employees aren’t just paid a straight hourly rate. Uh oh.

The 20th nominee for the “worst employer of 2019” is … the malignant mogul

The 20th (and final) nominee for the Worst Employer of 2019 is Alki David, heir to the Coca-Cola bottling fortune and owner of several media firms.

The evidence?

This week, a jury awarded over $58 million to a female employee who accused him of thrusting his pelvis into her face, simulating oral sex, moaning, and zipping up his pants and walking away saying, “Thanks, M.K.”

As sure as today is Cyber Monday, your employees are shopping from work

Today is Cyber Monday, the biggest online shopping day of the holiday season. In fact, it is estimated that today will be the biggest online shopping day ever, with over $9.4 billion in sales.

And, guess what? Given that most of those doing the shopping will be spending the majority of their prime shopping hours at work, from where do you think they will be making most of their Cyber Monday purchases.

WIRTW #578 (the “credibility” edition)

Yesterday, the NFL upheld the indefinite suspension of Cleveland Browns’ defensive lineman Myles Garrett, who last week assaulted Pittsburgh Steelers’ quarterback Mason Rudolph on the field with his helmet.

At his suspension hearing, Garrett attempted to mitigate his misconduct by claiming that Rudolph had used a racial slur on the field.

Garrett’s problem? It was the first time he had raised that claim in the week following the incident. He didn’t raise it on the field. Or after the game. Or to the media. Or at any time prior to his hearing. Even his teammates were caught off guard by the claim. And that’s a huge problem for the credibility of his defense.

In harassment cases, credibility is everything. And if employee waits until a trial or hearing to raise a claim of harassment, his (or her) credibility, as well as their claim, is shot.

Here’s what I read this week.

“Hairstyle discrimination” laws: a solution in search of a problem

I fully embrace the irony of a local news broadcast holding me out as the expert on hair discrimination. 👨🏻‍🦲

Irony notwithstanding, here I am on last night’s 6 o’clock news discussing why we don’t need to ban workplace hairstyle discrimination. (Big thank you to WEWS’s Mike Brookbank for reaching out and for the interview.)

Is your business prepared for a cyber attack? (probably not, but I can help.)

I’d like to share three scary cybersecurity statistics with you.

1. 60 percent of small businesses fail within 6 months of a cyber attack.
2. 72 percent of small businesses rate their ability to mitigate cyber risks, vulnerabilities and attacks as other than highly effective.
3. 90 percent of data breaches are caused by human error.

These numbers mean that most of you reading this post work for a company that is not doing nearly enough to mitigate your cyber-risk. Coupled with the truth that data breaches are a when issue, and not an if issue, these numbers also mean that everyone’s data is way too exposed, and no matter what you are currently doing in this space, everyone can do more.

Meyers Roman is here to help.

It’s not realistic to expect employees not to discuss politics at work, but it is to require them to do so professionally

According to a recent survey conducted by SHRM [pdf], American workers cannot hide from politics at work.

• 42% of U.S. employees say they have personally experienced political disagreements at work
• 44% say they have witnessed political disagreements at work
• 34% believe that their workplace is not inclusive of differing political perspectives
• 12% report they have personally experienced political affiliation bias or discrimination based on their political views
• 56% state that political discussions at work have become more common over the past four years

Gay man claims he’s the victim of intentional discrimination because of his sexual orientation … and that’s the least of his employer’s problems

Wesley Wernecke, an ex-employee of New York event planning company Eventique, claims in his recently filed lawsuit that the company intentionally alienated him, ostracized him, and shut him out of the business after its CEO learned Wernecke was gay.

NBC News shares the details of the allegations in Wernecke’s lawsuit.

WIRTW #577 (the “side hustle” edition)

If I had gotten paid for my appearance on Matt Christensen‘s Fraud Not Frog podcast, I could classify it as a side hustle. But I didn’t; I appeared gratis to discuss the legal concerns businesses and employees need to consider when an employee wants to engage in a side hustle.

You can listen here, or better yes, listen by subscribing to Matt’s podcast in your app of choice.

Here’s what I read this week.

EEOC settlement provides expensive lesson on including social media in your anti-harassment policies and training

EEOC v. Nabors Corp. Services involves serious allegations of racial harassment, including the following.

Being addressed at work by co-workers with racial slurs such as “nigger”; being exposed at work to offensive, racially derogatory social media images and material circulated by co-workers and managers; being exposed to racist graffiti, including racial slurs and derogatory drawings concerning Black persons at company facilities in and around Pleasanton, Texas; being referred to as members of the “colored crew” by employees and managers; and in some instances, being subjected to intimidation and physical threats by employees because of race, Black.

The company recently resolved this case, agreeing to pay 10 employees a total of $1,225,000 to settle the EEOC’s claims of racial harassment, race discrimination, and retaliation.

Celebrating “World Kindness Day” at work #WorldKindnessDay #ChooseKindness

Today is World Kindness Day. Introduced in 1998 by the World Kindness Movement, it highlights good deeds in the community by focusing on the positiveness of our common bond of kindness.

It is a day worth celebrating, and one that we sorely need and is sadly necessary.

#MeToo does not always equal #FireHim

Just because an employee complains about harassment does not mean that if the allegations are founded the employer must fire the harasser.

Consider, for example, Abbood v. Texas Health & Human Servs. Comm. (5th Cir. 11/7/19).

The 19th nominee for the “worst employer of 2019” is … the barbaric boss

The headline is scary enough.

South Carolina Man Sentenced to 10 Years in Prison for 

Forcing Man with Intellectual Disability to Work at Restaurant

But for this nominee, the devil lives in the details.

WIRTW #576 (the “Dolly” edition)

A couple of months ago, in the 568th version of “What I Read This Week,” I posted 5 of the best songs about work. I had no idea when I listed Dolly Parton’s “9 to 5” how divisive Dolly would be. In my wildest dreams I never imagined anyone could take issue with an American icon such as Dolly Parton. Who doesn’t love Dolly? Apparently, however, some of you exist.

Thankfully, I feel vindicated with my inclusion of Dolly. WNYC recently launched Dolly Parton’s America, a nine-part podcast series tracing Dolly’s roots from East Tennessee’s Great Smokey Mountains to country music superstar to cultural icon. It’s a fascinating listen, especially the second episode, all about her metamorphosis from “dumb blonde” sidekick to Porter Wagoner to the biggest star in country music.

I highly recommend you add Dolly Parton’s America to your podcast queue.

Here’s what I read this week.

“Smoking gun” email revives employee’s disability discrimination lawsuit

Maryville Anesthesiologists fired Paula Babb, an experienced Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist, because it thought she suffered from a visual impairment.

How do we know why it fired her? Because the day after Babb’s termination, one of her co-workers confirmed it in an email (written at the direction of one of the employer’s owners).

Recent decision about a positive drug test has a lot to say about the future of medical marijuana and employer drug testing

Richard Turner worked as a crane operator for Phillips 66. The company’s substance abuse policy allowed for random and post-accident drug testing for “Cannabinoids, Cocaine, Opiates, Phencyclidine (PCP) and Amphetamines,” and mandated termination for any positive test.

On April 24, 2017, Turner was selected for a random drug test, and provided a urine sample. Three days later he was involved in a workplace accident and was again tested.

The following day, Phillips 66 learned that Turner’s April 24 sample tested positive for amphetamines. As a result, the company fired him.

When it comes to racial preference, the customer is never right

An Illinois Buffalo Wild Wings has fired all employees involved in an incident in which staff acceded to the request of a Caucasian “regular” to relocate a group of African-American diners to a different table. The reason—he “didn’t want to sit near black people.”

NBC Chicago has the details.

An employee’s disability is not a “get out of jail free” card for workplace misconduct

Does a medical leave of absence grant an employee a free pass for pre-leave misconduct discovered during the LOA? This question is squarely at the center of the court’s decision in Williams v. Graphic Packaging International (6th Cir. 10/31/19) [pdf].

WIRTW #575 (the “3.5” edition)

Being a parent is the world’s hardest job. But it’s also the most world’s most rewarding one. Which is why we keep doing it. The rewards are worth celebrating.

Last Friday night, I got to watch my daughter and her band absolutely blow the glass-pyramid roof off the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame at Cleveland Magazine’s Best of Cleveland Party.

“An example,” you ask? Here’s their latest original song, called “3.5” (which, in this proud dad’s very unbiased opinion, rips).


I love seeing the looks on people’s faces when the realize the sounds they are hearing are coming from a bunch of kids. At the Best of Cleveland event, I really loved seeing the band that followed them transform from, “We have to follow some kid band” (which was the look on their faces before soundcheck), to “How in the hell are we supposed to follow that?!” (which they actually said as they were walking onto the stage for their set.)

Here’s some photo memories of the evening, set to the soundtrack of a local radio show’s A+ review of Fake ID.


If you’re so inclined to check out all of Fake ID’s goings-on, they have a website, FakeIDofficialband.com.

Here’s what I read this week.

Must you tell employees when you are surveilling their devices?

It’s unusual these days for an employee not to have a device issued by their employer, or on which they can access their employer’s information — cell phones, tablets, laptops, and other computing devices.

Conventional wisdom (California notwithstanding), is that if the employer owns the device, the employee has zero privacy rights in that device, its use, or the information stored on it.

That conventional wisdom, however, might be changing.

“Tone down your gayness” = $20 million

A jury has awarded a St. Louis County police officer nearly $20 million over allegations that his superiors repeatedly denied him a promotion because they thought him too gay.

According to The Washington Post, the sergeant had more than 15 year of experience when he applied for a promotion. “The command staff has a problem with your sexuality,” he was told. “If you ever want to see a white shirt [i.e., get a promotion], you should tone down your gayness”, which was “way too out there.” The St. Louis Post-Dispatch adds that a captain had also referred to the plaintiff as “fruity.”

6 tips to avoid turning your costume party into an HR nightmare

Even this Halloween Scrooge

can get into the spirit

Halloween is this week. Truth be told, Halloween is one of my least favorite holidays. It always has been and always will be. I never liked it, even as a kid. Sure, all the candy was fun, but I just never got into the whole dress-up thing. As an adult, I like it even less. Not to be a Halloween scrooge, but I can’t even get into the holiday for my kids.

A lot of people, however, are into Halloween, and some are really into Halloween. It’s the holiday on which we spend more than any holiday other than Christmas.

And, a lot of your workplaces will be having Halloween celebrations. Some will request that you dress up for the occasion. If you happen to work in one of the workplaces, you have my sympathies. You also have my top 6 tips to avoid turning your innocent costume party into an HR horror show.

The 18th nominee for the “worst employer of 2019” is … the fecal loving fast-food manager

Kari Phillips did not feel well when she awoke prior to her shift at an Oregon City, Oregon, McDonald’s. She called the restaurant to request that someone cover her shift because of her stomach ailment, but a manager told her she had to come in, but would allow her to use the bathroom whenever needed.

According to Willamette Week, however, that’s not what happened once Phillips arrived at work.

WIRTW #574 (the “hero” edition)

What's a hero? I'm not sure how to define one, but I certainly know one when I see one. And earlier this week, I got to see one.

Dr. Harrison Schmitt is one of only 12 men to have walked on the moon. He was an astronaut on Apollo 17, the last NASA mission to land on the moon. He was also a United States Senator, chair of the NASA Advisory Council, and professor of engineering physics. And, at least according to his remarks, he still actively works with NASA.

He also has a very well developed sense of humor, as he was happy to share this clip of Norm McDonald asking David Letterman how it's possible that any of the Kardashians are more famous than someone who walked on the moon.

I was captivated listening to his remarks about his work on the Apollo lunar project.

Here's what I read this week.

OSHA publishes new guidance on distracted driving

The reaction time of someone texting while driving is 35 percent worse than someone driving without any distractions. Compare that figure to the 12 percent deficit a drunk driver faces, and you begin to understand why distracted driving is so dangerous. Indeed, in 2018 alone, 4,637 people died in car crashes related to cell phone use.

OSHA understands this danger as well. Thus, in conjunction with Drive Safely Work Week (which occurred earlier this month), OSHA announced an educational campaign calling on employers to prevent work-related distracted driving, with a special focus on prohibiting texting while driving.

Is this the worst defense ever to a discrimination claim?

Litigation is painful. It takes a lot of time, costs a lot of money, and has lots of variables that you just can’t control. Especially when the client goes off the rails and says something so ludicrous that you might as well just pack it in and cut a check.

As an example, I offer Evans v. Canal Street Brewing. It’s a race discrimination currently pending in federal court in Detroit. According to the Detroit Metro Times, the plaintiff, who is African-American, alleges “a racist internal corporate culture,” including the repeated used of the “N word”, and  management naming its printer the “white guy printer” and  the printer for lower-tier employees the “black guy printer.”

The employer’s defense? The restaurant’s general manager, Dominic Ryan, claims that he did not know Evans was black.

What’s really at stake when the Supreme Court decides LGBTQ rights under Title VII

Sometime next Spring the Supreme Court will announce its decision on whether Title VII’s prohibition against sex discrimination implicitly includes LGBTQ employees. It’s poised to be the biggest employment law case of the past three decades. And not just because LGBTQ discrimination is such a hot-button, high-profile issue.

One of the issues the Department of Justice has asked SCOTUS to revisit is whether Title VII’s prohibition against sex discrimination encompasses sex-based stereotypes.

That “sex stereotyping” is no different than “sex discrimination” has been the law of the land since the Supreme Court decided Price Waterhouse v. Hopkins 30 years ago.

What might the American workplace look like if SCOTUS actually reverses Price Waterhouse?

Take a look at workplace training Ernst & Young just required of its female executives (per HuffPost).

Women at Ernst & Young Instructed on How to Dress, Act Nicely Around Men

My dog was victim-blamed … and I don’t like it

On Friday, Dante, our five-month-old puppy, was attacked while in the (what we thought was the) safety our our fenced-in yard.

New neighbors recently moved in next door with their not-so-nice German Shepherd. They’ve warned us that he doesn’t get along well with other dogs, and, for that reason, they either tether him in their backyard, or monitor him while outside. At the time of the attack he was flying solo, and it ended badly for Dante. No one actually saw what happened, but either Dante was puppy-exploring through the slats in our fence, or the other dog lunged through the slats, or a combination of both. Either way, the neighbor’s dog was definitely the aggressor, and Dante definitely limped away with the lone injury.

Before staples                          After staples

WIRTW #573 (the “last laugh” edition)

When I go, I hope I have enough forethought to go out like this.

A dead man pranked his family at his own funeral by using a recording to scream ‘Let me out!’ as they put his coffin into the ground

Here’s what I read this week.

New EEOC case is a not-so-subtle reminder that we still have a lot of work to do to improve race relations

The allegations in this case—which the EEOC just filed against a Louisiana river transporter—remind us that while race relations have improved over the past several decades, they are far from perfect and we remain a nation with a lot of work to do.

A dramatic retelling of the 17th nominee for the worst employer of 2019

Click here for the full story.

The 17th nominee for the “worst employer of 2019” is … the mauling manager

I don’t even know what to say about today’s nominee for 2019’s worst employer, so I’ll just let Newsweek do the heavy lifting.

A Pakistani electrician is filing charges against a client who refused to pay their bill and instead unleashed a pet lion on him. 

Poor taste does not amount to prohibited sexual harassment.

I once made the mistake of watching an episode of Orange is the New Black on an airplane. The guy sitting behind was very uncomfortably enjoying the show along with me, and I shut it down.

Which brings me to Sims v. Met Council, a case in which an employee claimed her co-workers’ choice of television shows in the break room created a hostile work environment.

The 16th nominee for the “worst employer of 2019” is … the shameful wall builder

If you’re a health care facility whose employees erect a “wall of shame” of disabled patients, and then you drag your feet when an employee, who was also a patient, reports the misconduct, you might be the worst employer of 2019.

From the Bangor (Maine) Daily News:

Employees at St. Mary’s Regional Medical Center in Lewiston created a “wall of shame” where they displayed confidential medical records of patients with disabilities detailing issues with their genitalia and bodily functions, according to an investigation by the Maine Human Rights Commission that found the exhibit had contributed to a hostile work environment. 

WIRTW #572 (the “what did I miss” edition)

Did I miss anything big while I was away earlier this week?

• Argument analysis: Justices divided on federal protections for LGBT employees  — via SCOTUSBlog
• The Law is the Basement — via Kate Bischoff’s tHRive Law & Consulting Blog
• SCOTUS Oral Argument Recap: Is Justice Gorsuch the swing vote on LGBT workplace rights? — via Eric Meyer’s The Employer Handbook Blog
• Trump Appointee Gorsuch Plays Coy In LGBTQ Employment Rights Case — via NPR
• Justice Gorsuch emerges as an unlikely swing vote in the LGBTQ discrimination cases — via Vox
• The Supreme Court asks whether Title VII protects LGBT workers — via The Economist’s Democracy in America blog

In other news, I recently authored an article for Gusto discussing what AB5 (California’s recent law on independent contractor classification) means for small businesses operating in that state (including some practical tips for all employers dealing with contractor classification issues). You can access the article here.

Here’s what else I read this week:

A little kindness goes a LONG way

Earlier this week I was in Philadelphia with my family for my son’s cardiac procedure. During our visit, we stayed at the Sonesta Philadelphia (because I’m a hotel snob and it was the only non-big-chain hotel that offered a special rate for the families of CHOP patients).

At check-in, the desk clerk, Rachel, asked what brought us to Philly. “Nothing great,” I reported. “My son is having a heart procedure on Tuesday.” “So sorry to hear,” she responded. “Please let me know if we can do anything to make your stay more comfortable.”

WIRTW #571 (the “thoughts and prayers” edition)

I’ll be offline next week, as my family will be in Philadelphia for my son’s heart procedure.

Donovan was born with pulmonary valve stenosis, and on Tuesday he’s having a balloon dilation via cardiac catheterization to (hopefully) fix it.

While everyone likes to tell us it’s a routine procedure, we’ve learned with Donovan over the years that because of his genetic disorder anything medical is rarely simple. Moreover, if it doesn’t work, he’s almost certainly looking at open heart surgery in his future to replace the valve.

Thus, we are traveling to Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia (with a small detour first to New York City to take D-man to the Nintendo Store; he told me I better have a lot of room on my credit card) with hopeful thoughts and very anxious anticipation.

We’re taking all good vibes and prayers you have to send Donovan’s way.

I’ll post an update next week after his procedure.

Here’s what I read this week.

If at first you don’t succeed … Ohio will again try to fix its broken employment discrimination law

For lack of more artful description, Ohio’s employment discrimination law is an awful mess.

Among other problems, it exposes employers to claims for six(!) years; contains no less than four different ways for employees to file age discrimination claims (each with different remedies and filing deadlines); renders managers and supervisors personally liable for statutory discrimination; omits any filing prerequisites with the state’s civil rights agency; and contains no affirmative defenses for an employer’s good faith efforts to stop workplace harassment.

There have been several prior attempts to fix this law and harmonize it with its federal counterparts. All have died on the legislative vine.

Welcome House Bill 352 [pdf], introduced on October 1. It’s yet another business-friendly attempt at comprehensive reform of Ohio’s employment discrimination statute.

The 15th nominee for the “worst employer of 2019” is … the disability demoter

An employee tells you he might need to leave work on a moment’s notice to rush home to care for his disabled daughter (born with a severe neurological disorder, Rett Syndrome, which affects the ability to speak, walk, breathe, and eat, among other things).

Do you?

Why are so many employers discriminating against lactating moms?

Women were told to pump in their manager’s office or a meeting room without locks, where they were walked in on repeatedly. Many had to pump in view of security cameras. In two separate cases, restaurant workers were instructed to pump behind the bread racks, leaving them partly visible to colleagues and customers. 

Those who do find an appropriate space often don’t receive the time they need to fully empty their breasts. A McDonald’s worker was yelled at and ordered to return to work before she was done pumping. A Family Dollar worker asked for more time to pump and got demoted to part-time. A spa employee was required to sign a piece of paper agreeing that she wouldn’t take any more breaks. Her inability to pump caused her to leak milk from her breasts while she worked.

These are just a few of the stories of discrimination against lactating moms the Huffington Post recently shared. These employers are likely violating both Title VII (which would prohibit employers from denying breaks to these moms while granting breaks to others), and the Affordable Care Act (which specifically requires employers to provide lactation breaks).

Are hangovers the next frontier of your FMLA headaches?

A German court recently ruled that a hangover qualifies as an “illness.”

Which got me thinking … are hangovers the next frontier of your FMLA headaches?

Thankfully, the answer to this question is almost certainly “no.”

But it’s worth reviewing the FMLA’s definition of “serious health condition” to see how I reach that conclusion.

WIRTW #570 (the “unexpected” edition)

I always assumed my kids would out-achieve me. I just never imagined it would happen by the 8th grade. 

Cleveland Magazine just named her band, Fake ID, Cleveland’s “Best Unexpected Rock Stars” in its 2019 Best of Cleveland issue.

It’s not everyday you witness a band of 12- to 15-year-olds absolutely wail on Black Sabbath’s “War Pigs.”

Yet there’s Fake ID, chugging through the sinister heavy metal classic with style and skill to spare, cresting a wave of pummeling sound…. Yes, the cover act’s ages often precludes bars and clubs from their tour dates, but Fake ID’s easy poise and undeniable chops tend to draw a crowd wherever they plug in.

You can read the rest of the story here, check out Fake ID at their website, and catch them performing at the Best of Cleveland Party at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame on October 25.

Here’s what else I read this week:

6th Circuit holds that an employee cannot contractually shorten Title VII’s statute of limitations

In Thurman v. Daimler Chrysler, the 6th Circuit agreed that the following agreement between an employer and an employee shortening the time in which an employee has to file a lawsuit was lawful.

READ CAREFULLY BEFORE SIGNING I agree that any claim or lawsuit relating to my service with Chrysler Corporation or any of its subsidiaries must be filed no more than six (6) months after the date of the employment action that is the subject of the claim or lawsuit. I waive any statute of limitations to the contrary.

I’ve long argued that because of Thurman, employers should consider having all employees agree to a shortened statute of limitations to limit the duration of their potential exposure to employment claims. Yesterday, however, the same court punched big hole in this litigation avoidance strategy.

DOL announces new salary threshold for white collar exemptions

Yesterday, the Department of Labor announced that effective January 1, 2020, the salary threshold for an employee to be exempt from overtime under the administrative, executive, professional, and computer exemptions will increase from $455 per week to $684 per week (or $35,568 per year). For employers, this new threshold means that employees who are currently exempt and earn a salary of less than $684 per week will, in most cases, become non-exempt. The change is expected to impact an estimated 1.2 million workers.

Girl Scouts good / union organizers bad

What rights do you have to ban union organizers from your property? A lot. Your property is your property.

What if, however, you allow your employee’s daughter’s Girl Scout troop to set up a table outside and sell cookies? Have you just opened yourself to an argument that allowing cookie sales unlawfully discriminates against the banned union organizers?

No-fault attendance policies offer no cover when the ADA or FMLA are involved

An employee suffering from epilepsy, migraines, and heart condition asks (with a medical note) for two unpaid days off from work unpaid to treat symptoms related to her disabilities. Instead of granting the leave, the employer assigns the employee points under its no-fault attendance policy and fires her for exceeding the allowable number of attendance points. The EEOC has sued the employer, alleging disability discrimination.

WIRTW #569 (the “get by with a little help” edition)

I bet you can’t find someone having a better time than this guy.

I hope you have something in your life that brings you this much joy.

Here’s what I read this week.

Accommodating pregnant employees is a legal floor, not a ceiling

UPS has agreed to pay $2.25 million to settle a pregnancy discrimination charge investigated by the EEOC. The agency was to consider whether UPS’s policy of providing light duty as an accommodation to employees injured on the job, but not to pregnant employees, violated Title VII. The policy the agency was investigating appears to predate the Supreme Court’s 2015 decision in Young v. UPS.