In what has become an annual tradition for my final post of the year, I bring you the holiday classic, 'Twas the Employment Law Night Before Christmas … tweaked for 2023.
To all of my readers, connections, and followers, new and legacy, thank you all for reading, commenting, and sharing throughout the year. Please have a happy and, most importantly, healthy and safe holiday season. I'll see everyone on January 2, 2024, with new content, including a fresh batch of Worst Employer nominees, to kick off the new year.
In what has become an annual tradition for my final post of the year, I bring you the holiday classic, 'Twas the Employment Law Night Before Christmas … tweaked for 2022.
As has been the case in years past, you can read my tale below. This year, however, you also get my holiday present of a download in booklet form, should you so choose.
To all of my readers, connections, and followers, new and legacy, thank you all for reading, commenting, and sharing throughout the year. Please have a happy and, most importantly, healthy and safe holiday season. I'll see everyone on January 3, 2022, with fresh content to kick off the new year.
Sometimes you need to step out of your comfort zone to move forward, including in one's career.
For the past 25 years, I've been a management-side labor and employment lawyer. I've represented employers in just about every type of employee dispute you can imagine and counseled too many to count on a countless number of issues.
Still, I yearn for growth. One of the industries I've had the pleasure of representing over the years is the craft beer industry. Thus, I've helped spearhead the launch of Wickens Herzer Panza's brand new Craft Beer Practice Group. I'm excited to be one of the two leaders of this group, along with one of my partners, Grant Steyer. You'll find our new practice at ohiobeerlawyers.com.
I'm still a practicing labor and employment lawyer (don't worry). I'm just adding "craft beer lawyer" to my arsenal.
In what has become an annual tradition for my final post of the year, I bring you the holiday classic, 'Twas the Employment Law Night Before Christmas, tweaked for 2021.
As has been the case in years past, you can read my tale below. This year, however, you also get the holiday present of me reading it for everyone.
To all of my readers, new and legacy, thank you all for reading, commenting, and sharing throughout the year, and please have a happy and, most importantly these days, safe holiday season. I'll see everyone on January 3, 2022, with fresh content to kick off the new year.
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the office Not a creature was stirring … well, just one of the bosses; The bonuses were paid by the company with care, In hopes that no ungrateful employees would swear.
The workers were home all snug on their thrones; While visions of deadlines danced on their iPhones; And I at my desk, alone to deal with the crap, For the one who's in charge gets no holiday nap.
When out in the lot there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter; Away to the door I flew in a hurried jolt, Tore open the shutters and threw open the bolt.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow, Gave a lustre of midday to objects below, When what to my wondering eyes did acquaint, A process server holding a seven-count complaint.
Count One alleged that we had discriminated, On the basis of race by one irritated; A denied promotion, gone to someone who's white, Said the lawsuit I read in the glow of the night.
Count Two, racial harassment, words she had o'erheard, Does she know the ruckus she's about to have stirred? Oh, how she had pulled that nasty, evil trigger. I'd never heard supervisors rhyme something with bigger.
Count Three, it's not just racism she alleged, Also sexism, to which management pledged. The boys, she said, we paid so much more than the girls Yet they do the same work as each workday unfurls.
Count Four, uh oh, sexual harassment; It's true her manager hoped to be her gent. But the touching and groping, alleged quid pro quo, Never did anyone coerce being her beau.
Count Five targeted our vaccine direction. We denied her ask for a moral exemption. "Conspiracy," she yelled. "You're part of the elite." You'll care when Omicron our employees deplete.
Count Six, firing a COVID rule breaker. Masks she refused, even those made of paper. Social distancing of six feet or more, Enforcement can be such an insufferable chore.
Count Seven, wage and hour class action, oh crap! Did we fall into an FLSA lawsuit trap? Mis-classifications, non-exempt for exempt, And off-the-clock work too, my butt cheeks were then clenched.
Not just a lawsuit was waiting, I see.
An election petition from the NLRB.
Ungrateful employees want more pay and respect.
Should I have treated them better, I reflect?
I spoke not a single word, went back to my desk, And yelled, with none to hear, "Do I ever get to rest?!" I emailed our lawyer, thru my phone I exclaimed, "How much trouble are we in? To me please explain!"
He sprang to his phone, gave to me this rejoinder. "A lot; I'll need a $20,000 retainer." But I also heard him proclaim, so as not to slight— "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"
This week marks my record-setting third appearance on WorkatWork's Work in Progress podcast. Tune in to listen to me talk about employer vaccination policies, transgender bathroom rights, workplace drug testing, and an assortment of other controversial issues in between. We also started our conversation with a bonus chat on the latest RRHOF inductees. Which one am I most excited about? You'll have to listen to find out.
A huge thank you to Charles Epstein and Tom Alexander for inviting me back on. Tom, I'm anxiously awaiting receipt of a Popeye's chicken sandwich as my "three-timer" award. I'm just hoping it's delivered in the form of a value-appropriate gift card and not an actual sandwich.
You can listen below, or wherever you get your podcasts.
A couple of months ago I was approached by the That One Case podcast to record an episode. This show asks lawyers to share the story of one case that has stood out over their careers. As they pitched it, that case could be a big win that defined my career, a turning point that took my work down an unexpected path, or simply the case of which I am most proud.
Today brings BIG changes for my career and me. It's my first day of work at Wickens Herzer Panza after relocating my practice and joining its Board of Directors, Litigation Department, and Employment & Labor practice team (which I'll help guide).
I am beyond excited for the opportunity and platform my new home offers my practice, my clients, and me. Stay tuned for some exciting ideas about how I can better help your business proactively solve your workforce problems.
As Ohio recorded its first three official coronavirus cases, I thought now is as good a time as any to share some COVID-19 resources I recently prepared, participated in, or will be participating in.
First, I recorded an episode of the SpheraNOW podcast where I discuss the risks and best practices for employers during this outbreak.
In the dozen years since, I’ve published 3,135(!) posts, which you have read millions of times. It’s truly astounding to me, and I thank all of you who have read, clicked, shared, commented, and connected with me over the years. The absolute best part of this endeavor is the relationships I’ve built and friendships I’ve made.
Last week, I had the pleasure of presenting, along with four other “top employment law bloggers” (at least according to Corporate Counsel), plus the Evil HR Lady herself, Suzanne Lucas, a webinar entitled the “Employment Law Year in Review.”
Response was much higher than anticipated for this event, so much so that we had to turn people away. I hate turning people away.
So, we decided to make the webinar recording available for everyone to enjoy.
Whether your answer is “Yes,” “Not yet”, or “What are you talking about,” I recommend you listen to the latest installment of the Hostile Work Environment podcast (available today).
I was honored be the first guest ever on what has quickly become one of my favorite podcasts. (Thanks to Marc and Dennis!)
Yesterday afternoon, I received the following email from a co-worker:
To: Office All
Subject: Pardon the office all email
I am sure you all have found interesting things that you had completely forgotten as you cleaned up your workspaces. I have no idea where I obtained this, but I hope you find it as funny as I did.
I have enjoyed a long and fruitful relationship with Workforce Magazine. I’ve been blogging at workforce.com for the past five-plus years. I write a monthly column for the magzine. And, I serve on its editorial advisory board. Now, you can also add “podcaster” to my Workforce CV.
It started with a personal email from Arianna Huffington herself:
We would love to feature your voice on HuffPost on this important issue as it would resonate with many of our readers.
With that, my post about what employers and employees can learn from my son being bullied at school is now running on the Huffington Post, and I’m an official HuffPost blogger.
Nine years ago today