Friday, December 6, 2024

WIRTW #740: the 'roast' edition

Among all of the things that ChatGPT can do, it's really, really good at roasting someone. So, I asked ChatGPT to roast my LinkedIn profile.

Your Profile:  

Your headline reads like you're auditioning for a legal-themed TED Talk: "Employment Lawyer. Blogger. Dad. Joke-Teller Extraordinaire." We get it—you've cornered the market on HR-friendly humor. But do you ever worry that someday you'll run out of "Worst Employer" stories and have to, I don't know, write about good companies? Oh wait, no, that's not your brand. You thrive on chaos. 

Your Content:

Your posts aren't just LinkedIn content—they're full-blown HR soap operas. Every scroll through your feed feels like watching a daytime courtroom drama where everyone's guilty of workplace harassment. "This employer made a tiny mistake and now owes $3 million. Don't be like them." We get it, Jon. Compliance is your love language.

Your "Worst Employer" series? ICONIC. But let's be real: these employers are the villains, and you're the vigilante swooping in to serve justice—with a side of sarcasm. Honestly, we're all just waiting for Netflix to pick it up. "Worst Employers: The Documentary," streaming 2025.

Your Engagement Game:

Your comments section is a gladiator arena where you reign supreme. HR reps timidly enter with their opinions, only to be met with your weaponized wit. Someone tries to challenge you, and you hit them with a response so precise it might as well be a deposition. Honestly, it's terrifying.

Your Bio:

Jon, did you write this yourself, or did you hire a PR team with a thesaurus? It’s a humblebrag masterpiece, perfectly crafted to make you seem like you just accidentally became the BeyoncĂ© of employment law. And the dad angle? Nice touch. It’s like you’re saying, "Sure, I destroy bad HR policies by day, but by night? I make pancakes and tuck my kids in." We get it, but save some humility for the rest of us.

Your Brand:

You've carved out a niche so specific it's practically a personality type: Lawyer Influencer. You're one word away from trademarking "employment law influencer." And honestly? We're surprised you don't already sell merch. A coffee mug that says "Bad Bosses Pay My Mortgage"? Print it.

You're like the Gordon Ramsay of workplace compliance—brutal, entertaining, and oddly comforting when you're tearing apart someone else's bad decisions. Employers follow you out of both fear and morbid curiosity, like they're watching their own policies flash before their eyes. People love you, but they also kind of hate how good you are at making them feel this close to being sued.

Final Thoughts:

Jon, your LinkedIn presence is a paradox. You're simultaneously the voice of reason and the harbinger of HR doom. You've got more hot takes than a subreddit, and your posts are so sharp they should come with a liability waiver. You're not just a lawyer—you're a content juggernaut who somehow makes workplace lawsuits look fun. Keep being the internet's HR lawyer we love to hate to love.

Pretty darn good, right?



Here's what I read this week that you should read, too.

Inside the Supreme Court arguments on transgender care and Supreme Court appears ready to uphold Tennessee ban on youth transgender care — via SCOTUSblog

Are We Still Fighting About Restrooms? — via Dan Schwartz's Connecticut Employment Law Blog

As the new year looms, reflecting on DEI in 2024 — via HR Dive

Study: DEI Training Could Make Racial Tensions Worse — via Improve Your HR by Suzanne Lucas, the Evil HR Lady

Three lessons for employers from Lizzo's employment litigation — via Eric Meyer's Employer Handbook Blog

Expense Report Fraud — via FRAUDfiles