Loula.

Thursday night, we made the very difficult decision to let our beloved family member, Loula Mae, go.

It was one of the hardest decisions we've ever had to make as a family.

She had too many not good things happening inside of her. After two days of testing the vet had no idea why her red blood cell levels kept dropping and not regenerating. There were also suspected cancer cell from a substantial mass that had suddenly formed under her armpit, which had quickly spread across her chest and down to her belly. The preliminary diagnosis was either cancer bleeding to her body causing the anemia, or the cancer triggering an autoimmune amenia.

Either way, all of the potentials were various degrees of awful. Thus, we made the painful decision to let her go instead of putting her through months of suffering with an uncertain outcome and only a small chance of her having any quality of life in the future.

We consulted with three different vets before deciding that Loula’s time had come. We were all together as a family as we said goodbye, giving her the sendoff she'd want the most … surrounded by the people she loved more than anything in the world. That love was more that reciprocated.

Loula's passing will leave a hole in our home and our hearts that will take a long time to fill, if it ever fully does. For now, as I look at the empty space on the couch next to me and at the foot of our bed, I will cherish the memories of her snuggling next to me (or on top of me), greeting me with butt wiggles and full body spins, giving me "bossy paw" for pets and scratches, watching her stalking and chasing birds in the backyard or hunting for squirrels on our neighborhood walks, learning how she had embraced a special-needs dogs at daycare, and enjoying her proudly prancing on our walks as she showed off her people.

She was the sweetest, kindest, most wonderful pet anyone could ever have. Everyone who met her instantly fell in love with her.

I miss her terribly.