(Some musical accompaniment)
On the first day of Christmas,
my employment lawyer gave to me
a lawsuit for my company.
On the second day of Christmas,
my employment lawyer gave to me
2 trade secrets,
and a lawsuit for my company.
On the third day of Christmas,
my employment lawyer gave to me
3 FMLA notices,
2 trade secrets,
and a lawsuit for my company.
On the fourth day of Christmas,
my employment lawyer gave to me
4 collective actions,
3 FMLA notices,
2 trade secrets,
and a lawsuit for my company.
On the fifth day of Christmas,
my employment lawyer gave to me
5 Facebook firings,
4 collective actions,
3 FMLA notices,
2 trade secrets,
and a lawsuit for my company.
On the sixth day of Christmas,
my employment lawyer gave to me
6 guys-a-lying,
5 Facebook firings,
4 collective actions,
3 FMLA notices,
2 trade secrets,
and a lawsuit for my company.
On the seventh day of Christmas,
my employment lawyer gave to me
7 sex harassers,
6 guys-a-lying,
5 Facebook firings,
4 collective actions,
3 FMLA notices,
2 trade secrets,
and a lawsuit for my company.
On the eighth day of Christmas,
my employment lawyer gave to me
8 discriminating managers,
7 sex harassers,
6 guys-a-lying,
5 Facebook firings,
4 collective actions,
3 FMLA notices,
2 trade secrets,
and a lawsuit for my company.
On the ninth day of Christmas,
my employment lawyer gave to me
9 OSHA penalties,
8 discriminating managers,
7 sex harassers,
6 guys-a-lying,
5 Facebook firings,
4 collective actions,
3 FMLA notices,
2 trade secrets,
and a lawsuit for my company.
On the tenth day of Christmas,
my employment lawyer gave to me
10 labor campaigns,
9 OSHA penalties,
8 discriminating managers,
7 sex harassers,
6 guys-a-lying,
5 Facebook firings,
4 collective actions,
3 FMLA notices,
2 trade secrets,
and a lawsuit for my company.
On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my employment lawyer gave to me
11 personnel manuals,
10 labor campaigns,
9 OSHA penalties,
8 discriminating managers,
7 sex harassers,
6 guys-a-lying,
5 Facebook firings,
4 collective actions,
3 FMLA notices,
2 trade secrets,
and a lawsuit for my company.
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my employment lawyer gave to me
12 disabled workers,
11 personnel manuals,
10 labor campaigns,
9 OSHA penalties,
8 discriminating managers,
7 sex harassers,
6 guys-a-lying,
5 Facebook firings,
4 collective actions,
3 FMLA notices,
2 trade secrets,
and a lawsuit for my company.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
I'll be back on January 3, 2016, to kick off 2017, in what will prove to be a very interesting year.