Happy ADEA Day (to me). Now let’s rewrite the age discrimination laws.

I’m a white male, which means I’ve spent my entire life unprotected by the various civil rights laws to which I’ve devoted my career. Yes, I’m Jewish, but the legal profession isn’t known for its mistreatment of Jews. In other words, I’ve been exposed and unprotected for the first 40 years of my life.

All that changes today. Today, I turn 40. Today, I fall under the generous protections of the age discrimination laws.

The thing is, I don’t feel old; I feel young. I have young kids (6 and 4). I still watch cartoons and play video games. Alt Nation is my go-to channel on Sirius. My back only hurts some of the time.

Scientists say 40 is the new 30. If that’s the case, then why does the law protect 40 as age discrimination? If 40 is the new 30, then 50 is the new 40.

Today, to mark the ruby anniversary of my birth, I am starting a movement to change the protections of age discrimination laws from age 40 to age 50. If I can’t get cheap AARP hotel rooms for another 10 years, then I shouldn’t be able to claim age discrimination either. I am willing to give up my newly found protected status for an age cutoff that makes sense.

Now, I’m heading outside to yell at those kids to get off my lawn.

photo credit: Beautification Syndrome via photopin cc